The Screaming Room

10 Worst Slasher Films

by victor_crowley 3. June 2010 15:01

For every great slasher that comes out, there are so many more that just don't make the grade. I enjoy a good bad movie from time to time, but these films are the absolute worst of the worst. They can be good for a few laughs if you're in the right mood, but overall you should proceed with caution.

10. Drive-In Massacre(1977)

I have no idea how this film ever got released. I think there would be a better chance of getting people to sit through home movies of me playing solitaire. The film is about a serial killer with a sword at a drive-in and does not have one single redeeming quality. This really belongs to be further down the list, but its so bad i can't bring myself to give it a #1 on any kind of list.

9.Valentine(2001)

This one is pretty funny, people either love it or hate it. I am definitely with the haters. I'm not sure I can even tell you why, because I have done a good job blocking it out and refuse to watch it again to find out. I was not a fan of many of the films that came out during that time period, but I know this one sucked pretty bad because it left a lasting impression.

8. Don't Go In The Woods......Alone(1981)

No Budget. Bad Acting. Basically nobody with any talent was allowed to work on this film. I like bad movies for the most part and this one is kinda fun if you take it for what it is. Just don't go into expecting anything and you won't be disappointed.

7. A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge(1985)

It is no surprise at all that Wes Craven refused to work on this film. I am a huge fan of the whole franchise, but honestly i don't know how they managed to get funding for any additional sequels after this stinker came out. They changed the whole premise and it just doesn't fit with the rest of the series. You're lucky your fans love you Freddy and are willing to give you a pass on this one.

6. Silent Night, Deadly Night 2(1987)

This whole movie is archive footage of the first. Total waste of space in anyone's collection. If you've never seen it, don't. You can skip right to 3 and you haven't missed a thing.

5. Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Why mess with a proven system? The ninth in the series, "Jason Goes To Hell" does not make any sense, on any level. All of a sudden Jason can jump bodies? WTF? This movie was just terrible and never should have been made. Luckily, they followed with Jason X AND TOTALLY REDEEMED THEMSELVES!

4. Leprechaun(all)

I can manage to sit through the first couple in this series, but that's it. I know they arent meant to be taken seriously, but come on. If I had to listen to that little guy rhyme like that, I would kill myself before he ever got to me. They seemed fun and different at first, but I have to rate this whole series as some of the worst movies ever.

3. Return To Sleepaway Camp(2008)

I have always been a big fan of this series, but they never finished filming the fourth movie. Why would they ever move on to a fifth? This particular slasher's time has passed. Trying to capitalize 20 years after the last sequel had been released just didn't work. This film isn't worth the DVD it's burned on.

2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: The Next Generation(1994)

Why did they have to do this to Leatherface? This movie is watchable for some laughs, but they took this one too far. OK. We all knew Leatherface was a cross dresser, but was there really a need to make it so pronounced? They totally emasculated a legend and then had the balls to make the whole thing a government conspiracy. Just so wrong on so many levels. Don't watch this movie if you can avoid it.

1. Slumber Party Massacre 2(1987)

This movie is so bad that it is so much fun to watch in the right company. I don't even want to say anything to ruin it. The picture says it all. It is so absolutely terrible that it's a definite must see. If you have never seen it, I guarantee some dropped jaws.

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10 Worst Horror Remakes

by victor_crowley 3. June 2010 08:48

If you can't do something right, DON'T DO IT AT ALL! How many more of our favorite movies are going to get butchered for the sake of making a quick buck? I know not all of Hollywood is brain dead and I know for a fact from my dealings with independent filmmakers that original screenplays still exist. It's time to buck the trend and stop going to see this garbage so maybe we can get some new, original movies in theaters again. The only way we can make that happen is to stop feeding the machine and not allow movies like the following make millions at the box office.

10. Friday the 13th(2009)

This movie had potential, had they just followed the proven formula. Don't make Jason into something he isn't. He moves very slow, yet seems to teleport to catch anyone, anywhere. He hacks people to death with whatever is handy and has AWESOME music to go along with it. That's it. Couldn't get more simple. Jason does not take hostages, nor does he use a bow and arrow and he certainly won't be competing in an Olympic decathlon anytime soon. Only good thing about this movie was that it was so bad they had to call off the sequel.

9. The Wicker Man(2006)

I don't think this film could have been any worse if they tried. It amazes me that they took such a fantastic classic horror movie and followed the script so closely, yet totally ruined it. The original totally sucked you in right from the beginning with an utterly eerie soundtrack making it that much more chilling. "The Wicker Man" remake is the exact opposite. It does not engage the audience at all and there isn't one likable character in the bunch. Nick Cage's role just seems like a lost, confused child and is actually quite comical, which as I understand it is the opposite of how things were intended. It is no surprise to me at all that Robin Hardy, the original director, has teamed up once again with Christopher Lee to offer audiences another "re imagining" of the classic only a few years after this remake was released.

8.The Omen(2006)

There can be only one Damien. The original is still eerie after 35 years and there was absolutely no need for an update. I'm not saying the movie wasn't well put together, it was just missing something and had nowhere near the effect of the original regardless of how many times you have seen it.

7. The Amityville Horror(2005)

This was totally unnecessary. The original is a great, timeless movie, but keep in mind that we have already been subjected to 7 sequels. I don't know about the rest of the world, but I am Amityvilled out. Perhaps a different cast would have changed things, but I find it absolutely impossible to take Ryan Reynolds seriously in any role he plays. Overall it just didn't work for me, and I am still trying to figure out where in the original was the babysitter taking bong rips in the bathroom?

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